I've just returned from a wonderful few days in Perth, Western Australia, where the motorists don't as a rule try to kill you (unlike in most of Asia) and if you are a tourist at least, you can come away with the false impression that the cork-hatted people have got the balance between work and other things that matter more sorted out.
Anyway, to the point after that ridiculously long sentence. I failed the Koala Bear test in the gift shop in Yanchep National Park .
On sale was a stuffed Koala Bear toy made in Australia at $11.80 in Australian dollars. You could also opt for an "Inspired in Australia" version (I tried to establish what this meant with the shopkeeper, but she hadn't a clue. What Koala Bear is not inspired by the Antipodese, for goodness sake?) at $5.50.
Or you could for the Chinese version at a staggeringly cheap - and no doubt nasty in some horribly chemically polluting and toxic way - $2.50.
We all might want to save the planet by lessening our carbon footprint (blah, blah, blah) but in these straitened times with my investments plummeting in value, I went for the Chinese version on the grounds that my 21-month-old son would very quicky lose the thing anyway (sorry, another long sentence).
Ten minutes out of the shop Mr Koala Bear ended up face down in a puddle.
This was the wisest investment decision I've made for the last two years.