As the crisis deepens and chemical markets tumble, the jokes are circulating on yahoo messenger to get the industry through a Friday afternoon.
Apparently Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai
Bank is planning to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank shares are
going for a song and shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived. 500
back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is
something fishy going on at Sushi bank and staff there fear that they may
get a raw deal.
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to firstname.lastname@example.org so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson