Bus travel boosts crude supply for petchems

"Why haven't you written about the joys of travelling by bus?" Julia our resident 4x4 driver asks me as I am putting on my shades and heading out into the late afternoon sunshine to hang out at the local bus stop.

It's true that in the week I have spent travelling on the X26, the buses have been punctual, clean, empty and have conveyed me faultlessly to my office. It has also been dry, sunny and out of school term-time - all vital factors in determining the quality of the experience. Passengers exiting the bus even thank the driver, something which has not been seen on London buses since I was a child.

 Top 7 advantages of bus travel:

1 By not using the car, you selflessly consume less petrol (gasoline) and leave more crude for petrochemical production.

2 On the 0.7 mile (1.1 km) walk to and from the bus stop every day, you are losing weight and tightening up important leg and foot muscles.

3 You are immersed in languages which do not form part of the normal course of your daily work, eg Kwa, Igbo and Polish.

4 From the top deck you can look into walled gardens and get good ideas for seasonal planting.

5 You can go for a convivial drink after work without worrying about drink-driving.

6 It costs 90p ($1.79) to travel 17 miles (27 km) in contrast to the monstrous cost of petrol at £1.18/litre ($8.86/US gallon).

7 In contrast to the car, you can read the paper, file your nails, send text messages, write blog postings and eavesdrop on other people's conversations (unless they are in Kwa, Igbo or Polish).